I turn 50 later this year. I know, I find it hard to believe too. It is an overused joke of mine that the pandemic stole my 40’s, back in 2020 I felt more mid 40’s still with loads of road ahead of me, by the end of restrictions the big 50 was really bearing down upon me and that road had become a narrow lane.
But this isn’t a post about the existential crisis of age, about wisdom, about loss or even about change. It is a post about the acceptance of reality.
The fact is I was born in 1973 and every 365 days based on our customs of time, I become a year older. The fact is that in 2020 a disease named Covid19 entered the UK and restrictions were put in place that limited our freedoms for the next couple of years. The fact is that in 2023, I will have lived 50 lots of those 365 days, including the period with the pandemic.
Nothing can, or will change that. Other than my early demise.
There are lots of things at work, in life, in society that we might not like. There will have been political decisions, promotions, events in the past that we will have disagreed with. But they are exactly that, events in the past. Rehearsing arguments about what could or should have been are completely pointless and require us to dispense energy on things we cannot change. What is worse, they distract from the conversations that we need to be having, what needs to be true in the future.
That is not to say that lessons from the past shouldn’t inform what we do in the future, those of us familiar with reflective practice will know the power of seeking to understand in order to power us going forward. For example, having lost time to the pandemic, I might seek to make sure that I maximise every day in my 50’s. Likewise, we can learn from errors of the past to inform our thinking in the future.
The imperative on all of us is to shape the future, not fixate on the past. Not only will that create a better world around us, it will also lead us to happier more productive lives.